Why You Shouldn’t Give Up On Marriage

 

 

I believe in the commitment of marriage. I don’t remember ever thinking to myself that I would not get married. Maybe this was because I came from a family with two parents, I really don’t know. All I know is that marriage can be a beautiful thing if you let it.

I never put much stock in the idea of being a princess. I was brought up to believe that I could be whatever I wanted to be and I could do anything I desired, as long as it was legal. My dad and mom showed me, through their marriage, that it is a union of two people. Everyone needs to be involved for it to work. Both the husband and the wife must pull their weight and work together on everything.

The minute you say “I do” everything changes; it really does.

 

This is me and my husband, Brian. Happily living our fairy tale for 16 years and counting.

This is me and my husband, Brian. Happily living our fairy tale for 16 years and counting.

 

I know people move in together to see if they will work as a couple. The minute they marry they realize that what they had was not the same. This is not a marriage and it will never be like a marriage. There is no obligation in this relationship and each party still functions as an independent person. They may say they are committed to one another and they may actually love each other but nothing takes the place of that paper committing to work with one another forever.

I know people say “it’s just a paper” and I will not be owned. I guess you can say the same of a birth certificate, but you have one of those, don’t you? Marriage is not ownership it is a partnership of love. You agree to do whatever you can to work with this person that you treasure above all others by promising to love them, be true to them, honor (with goes both ways) them, and obey them. Obey can be taken in any manner that you choose to. For me it means coming to an agreement that both of you decided on and sticking to it. Not obey in the sense of “I said so”.

Why it is so many marriages fail? Well, my thoughts are that divorce is an easy option. Yes, they said the vows but did they stop and consider that this is a lifetime commitment, similar to having a child? No. People get fed up with one another at the drop of a hat and then divorce is advertised all over the place making the thought of a divorce seem so easy. Females are looking for the white horse and prince charming. When he isn’t there 100% of the time they want out. Men communicate differently than women and can be hard to understand. Instead of working on the differences and making them unite us we bail.

If we put as much effort into working our relationship like we do our social media and friendships maybe we could work things out. When you accept that ring, it symbolizes to you that a union has just formed. It isn’t just a piece of jewelry that you flash around to your friends. You didn’t marry someone so they could take care of you. You married them so you could take care of each other. Maybe people just don’t realize how big a deal marriage really is. There will be tough times, believe me, but those tough times make your marriage stronger. If you never have any tough times then you need to evaluate your union. Maybe you really don’t know the person you married at all or you don’t communicate enough. Each of us has our own mind and each of us believe our opinion is the right one. I am here to tell you that the grass is not always greener on the other side and stop looking for an easy way out when something doesn’t go your way.

Marriage is not a Disney Movie where you play the role of Cinderella and live happily ever after. I see so many people plan their wedding like a fairy tale only to be disappointed when life doesn’t live up to it. Marriage is a fairy tale but not like you see in the movies. When you and your spouse communicate and form a bond that is unbreakable this is a fairy tale. It is a wonderful feeling to know that someone can have your back no matter what. They will drop everything to be at your side during a so-called disaster and you will do the same for them. It brings as sense of calm to your day knowing you have that special someone whom you trust will all your heart to come home to. This is what makes marriage a fairy tale.

When you get married please give it some thought. Marriage is not the same as living together and it is like nothing else you will ever experience. That ring, big or small, is only a symbol of the love you share. Wear it with pride and with the thought that you have another heart to consider when making life choices.

Thanks for spending some time with me and cheers to marriage. Make it all it can be and live your own fairy tale.

Vicki

Posted by Vicki Brown in Straight Talk With Vicki